Transition to success

I hadn’t really typed a long post previously.  But it went missing and when I wanted to re-type it I didn’t find my topic interesting any longer. But here it is, a modified version.

One day, not long ago, I had posted a status up on facebook: ” I think I have finally figured it out, the disabled worry about their present while the abled worry about their future, the genius donot worry at all.” There were afew people who liked my status and a high school friend even replied to my status. She basically claimed that she was happy that she was not a genius because living a life without worry is not normal at all.

Initially when I posted up my status, I had not thought too much about what I had to say. Amongst my circle of family and friends, we have a couple of people who are disabled and based on my personal observations it seemed like my statement was right. Amongst people I know, I find that some disabled people donot worry about how money is made.  Maybe its just from where I come from. The families I know with disabled children, usually mentally handicapped,  are able to support themselves quite well, they are not large families and so supporting a single child with disability isn’t all that difficult. But I find that the children donot worry about how they are going to survive in the future. If asked, they simply reply that they would work at a KFC outlet to support themselves. Maybe that is all they can do and I don’t think its wrong of them to think that way. They usually donot have big ambitions like winning the lottery, becoming a CEO of a huge firm or well say the President of their country. They donot care for marriages or romantic relationships, they donot worry about whether they can buy the latest car. Generally, my assumption is that they donot worry beyond a day, 24hrs.

That is based on my assumptions. I could be totally wrong here but based on the real life people I know and do care about, I draw these conclusions. Its not wrong of them to think that way and I am exactly judging them for it.

And when I was talking about abled people, that was totally based on myself. I worry too much about the future. Sometimes I have 5yr plans that never work but I would still revert back to thinking about my future. Well, that’s not to say that I donot worry about my every day life. I do, but my worries are more about the future. Where will I work, will I study later again, how about friendships or any other platonic or romantic relationships. If I wasn’t worriesd, I would be weird, wouldn’t I? I find my everyday life mundane, its repetitive and I know what I will be doing every minute, hour of the day. But my future is something I can’t control and have no idea of so I tend to worry about it. However I think or my assumption is that for a disabled person, their everyday life is an uncertainty. So they worry about their daily life.

And then finally you have the genius. Or the Mahatmas, the holy people, the gurus, the highly spiritual people who never worry. Because they know the absolute truth. I was thinking of them when I used the term genius but I now realise that word wasn’t really conveying what I was thinking at that particular time.

I am not sure if Newton worried about his future or even knew what was to come but if he was considered a genius and that I do, I wonder if he did worry about his future.

After this rather lengthy thought process or actually a rather short one, I think I found myself having a very thought provoking status update that resulted in some really nice replies. I didn’t imply that I would want to be a genius or be worry free but I guess I might have come across as wanting to be such. If I never had any worry, I don’t think I will be bothered. Worry drives me forward to want better things for myself. In a way, it helps you succeed your dreams whatever they may be. So I guess the moral of the story is sometimes donot pay attention to my status updates. Cause I can be very random.

ciao

“If God answers ur prayers, He’s increasing ur faith. If God delays ur answers, He’s increasing ur patience. If God doesn’t answers, He’s has something better for you”

This quote is not mine but was taken from a friend’s facebook photo comment.

You know often you get random people asking you to be friends be it on twitter, facebook or even on LJ. And most often unless these people are friends of my friends, I donot add them. The author of a hinduism book added me on facebook and I found it strange initially. Coincidently, my mum owns his book though I have not read it. And the topics he writes about are really interesting though and I agree with his many points.

But above all, I found it strange that I found solace in a quote that never was written for me or at me.

Thank you.

Hello!!

Well…where do I start? I could go on forever about why I stopped blogging. But to keep it simple and short, someone I don’t know tried to communicate with me about a friend I had a falling out with through this blog. I know we had our differences but I don’t think its nice when others take that as an oppurtunity to add oil to a burning fire.

The end story is, I neglected this blog.

During my time away from this blog, there was alot of time for me to do loads of soul searching, reflecting and coming to terms with afew things in my life.

And now I am lost for words.

I have come to terms with my bitter honours year. Which is probably the greatest triumph for me. I took up a Grad Dip in Biotech at the same Uni but at a different lab. And I had a real good time learning new skills. My lab was a chemical engineering lab and I had primarily a biological background. So when I first entered the world of chem eng, I thought I was probably committing suicide or something to that effect. But it was the perfect lab for me. It was refreshing for not only me but my supervisor and team mates as when I was testing out equipments for some portions of my lab work, I had a rather cynical opinion on the techniques since I thought in some aspects, the biological world was backwards but yet was far more efficient. I got to use instruments I would never have used otherwise, used terms I never knew and created friends outside of my biological sphere. lol  I have myself a penpal from germany.

And the weirdest thing,  my ex-supervisor, the psychotic one was transferred out of my Uni for reasons I don’t really know. Well, the whole lab including the head of Dept was transferred out.

My latest supervisor however was simply the best. Her primary goal in mind was for me to learn as many new skills as possible so that I can have a better job resume. I had the chance to work at the Australian Synchrotron and that my friend(s) is seriously seeing the rainbow after a very huge bout of rain. Who would have thought, I would be gaining experience from a place with the best equipments in town. And if, seriously if enough data is collected in the next few months or year, you could see my name on a journal. I say if, because, I am no longer a student and at the end of my term with the course, there was still afew unsettled issues with my project. I think I have regained back my confidence which I had lost together with a hope that someday, I could possibly undertake a PhD. Possibly.

At the end of my course, I have realised that Patience is a virtue you must have in life. And giving up is never the answer. And I choose to believe that with God’s grace anything is possible.

I think another important issue to raise is that if you think you’re suffering from depression or you know someone who is suffering from it, try and be there for them. And let me say this now, you can fight it without therapy and treatments and tablets. You can. All you need I think is an outlet to express anger, a HUGE distraction and lots and lots of love. And if you’re religious, you know prayers moves mountains. It does.

Hmm, I am alittle busy at the moment. Actually very busy. So if I ignore this space, please excuse me! I should be relatively free-er after March.

Hmmm….You see when you’ve had all the time in the world, you wish you had something to do and when you don’t have time, you wish you had nothing to do.

Irony….or perhaps human nature? Or maybe both?

But I am currently very busy, it feels like swimming in a pool with the depth higher than your actual height. It’s a welcoming feeling actually.

Anyway, I am just going to take the oppurtunity now to wish everyone a very joyous Christmas Greeting and a Happy New Year. If I do come back to the internet soon, I shall post something but I doubt it.

xoxo,
s_malfoy

Well, this one is part of a discussion board on a facebook group. Just thought to placing it here since some of my friends(you know who) donot have facebook!

I have been in Melbourne for about 7 years now, the first year I arrived, I was staying at a hostel at the corner of Elizabeth and Franklin Street. There was a chinese restaurant nearby which my friends and I frequented.

Anyhow the first time, I walked into the restaurant, it is the famous ROSE GARDEN on elizabeth street by the way, my friends and I who had arrived there sometime in April were hungry and needed food. So we walked in to what became a regular food joint for a few of us to hang in. And perhaps others as well. And we were given a menu. The menu sections are of course divided into Rice and Noodles.

So I scrolled down through the list of rice dishes and noodles. I think I ended up ordering a plate of fried rice that could have been shared among two people. But that is not the point here.

My eyes landed on two words I have never ever seen before prior to my 16 years of existence. “SINGAPORE NOODLES”.

What was that? Did we have our own noodles? I had no idea.

I mused over the thought of eating Singapore noodles. Maybe it was Maggi mee I thought. But I left my thoughts to myself and continued my journey on familiarising myself with Melbourne. (Afterthought, why did I think it was Maggi Mee?)

But those two words came back to haunt me one day when I needed something to eat and I was rather sick of eating the different types of fried rice dishes many of the chinese restaurants served. So, I was back at Rose Garden with a bunch of fellow singaporeans and I tasted my very first Singapore Noodles.

It is basically Bihun, well fried bihun with prawns and some green vegetables, I think I was served cauliflower and broccoli on my dish, I can’t exactly remember but all I remember thinking was, how could I not have ever eaten such a dish before my coming to Australia….

For 16 years I was raised in sunny Singapore, never once have I tasted this dish! It has a weird taste to it, I never wanted to eat it ever again. You know we have mama mee goreng, and bihun around Singapore. You know the orange noodles? Those are fanatastic dishes to eat. But the one I had here was so weird and bizarre!

You know what was the worst part of this dish?

CAPSICUM!!!!!!!!!

Let me know your thoughts, have you had your Singapore Noodles? When did you try it? What did you think of it? And if you’re interested, join: I’m Singaporean but have no idea what Singapore noodle is.

Who in the world puts CAPSICUMS in their NOODLES?

Bizarro bizarro!

These words…may not make sense to you but it does to me. I think I should not be doing science. I could be imagining things.

POST TRAUMATIC STRESS DISORDER

FAMILIAL ANXIETY

PARANOIA

EXTREME WEIGHT LOSS AND EXTREME WEIGHT GAIN

LONG PERIODS OF ISOLATION AND SUDDEN PERIODS OF MINGLING

FAILING SEEMS VERY VERY POSSIBLE

DYING SEEMS VERY VERY POSSIBLE

SCREWED SLEEP PATTERNS FOR 2-3 YRS

VERY SELF CONSCIOUS

STEREOTYPING OF PEOPLE

EXTREME FAITH THAT THE BOSS WILL FIRE YOU

AFRAID OF CERTAIN TYPES OF PEOPLE

AFRAID OF CERTAIN BUILDINGS

SOMETHING JUST FEELS OFF ALL THE TIME.

PS: Before you assume things, I could very possibly be talking about myself.

Its 2am. And I am not asleep. I can’t sleep and I have dark eye circles under my eye. I think you might find me one day when I am rich and famous under the knives of a plastic surgeon. I donot think there is anything wrong with plastic surgery that is if you’re not exploiting it. You can use it to remove wrinkles when say you’re 20 something…but when you’re fifty I won’t do it.

lol….I am 20 something and I have wrinkles. What have I done to my eyes?

You know its funny, there are alot of causes people fight for in this world. Some about irrigation problems in Africa and some about fighting poverty, child abuse and what not.

And then you also have the Save the Caucasians from Terror attacks, or anti-terrorist groups and there are also Stop killing Tamils in Sri Lanka. And there are the more common Terrorist groups as well. We have far too many groups and categories to classify humans.

I have something to say and its not necessarily a negative thing if you think about it. Why do you say save a particular group of people? Aren’t all people the same in the eyes of God. In terms of a war, you have both civilians and non-civilians dying. You have unnecessary deaths from both groups.

So shouldn’t it just be : STOP THE KILLING.

And there is not need to specify who you want to save. It isn’t right to say save one group of people and not the others. Because you can’t and don’t have the rights to decide who should and shouldn’t die.

So as a humble request, I hope cause developers and group leaders as well as organisations(especially NGOs) please try to please everyone by being general. And by the way, I think there are so many NGOs out there who are doing an excellent job of helping people and being in the frontline in bad times and in good.

This post might be long and I need to try and be concise.

But basically, I was inspired to write this post because of what I have heard or seen the past few days, weeks and even months…YOU can say years too.

Its not exactly a funny topic to blog about and I am not going to come out here and say you’re bloogy racist or bloody religionist ( such words exist? I wouldn’t know and I wouldn’t care because I am not an english major and I care two hoots about whether I am grammaticaly right.) But I am here to say, it does exist. And it will continue to exist till the end of time. Am I politically correct? I try to be with what I know. If I am unsure of something, I am not going to sit and type that out.

Is it a problem? In some instances, it can be seen as one. But in other instances, you can make use of the situation. Personally, I hate the word prejudicism because it leads to people being dishonest. Now, dishonesty is a whole different issue and I am not here to talk about that.

The word is “prejudice,” and it means prejudgment–an opinion formed before (“pre”) you have any information or reason for the opinion.  (Taken from Wikianswers)

So basically you have an opinion based on well…absolutely ridiculous (in my opinion) ideals.So how can it lead to dishonesty? Have you heard of people who are gay not telling people they are one until their friends find out unexpectedly? Have you heard of people who are of mixed heritage concealing their actual racial composition because they feel they could be mocked for being aboriginal or native american for example?

But you also instil unncessary fear in people by being prejudiced. I have had a few people who have openly declared they are of lower caste, lower class etc etc etc even in this 21st century and therefore cannot sit and mingle with the likes of me.

Even within a race, there are subclasses and divisions. And I could say, even I am prejuidiced, as in I form my opinions when I meet some people. Like pompous arrogant bigots. Or male chauvinist pigs or even based on how someone is dressed. I don’t really like the hippies.And I am not terribly inclined to the artsy fartsies. (I am just saying…Donot accuse me of anything I have not personally sat down and talked to you about! Terimah Kasih!)

But I would still give the time of day, I would still talk to them because life without interesting and different people would not be quite right. Hell, yes I form opinions in my head which I would never ever let you know, but I won’t say I am never ever going to be your friend.

I would prefer making friends within my own social circles because I donot need to explain myself when I undersplurge and being too stingy with my purse strings or I donot need to explain myself when I buy myself a pair of prada heels ( Note: I don’t own one and neither am I stingy with my purse strings. I am writing what I see people do.)

When you talk about skin colour, OH MY Goodness! There are the blacks. There are the coloureds and the asians. Some people donot consider the indians as asians, some people do. There are the latinos. The phillipinos.  The Minahs and the Ah bengs and ofcourse the Anjacks.

THEN

Ofcourse, you also have segregation with the whitan clan. There is the blue eyed people, the green eyed ones, the brown eyes and even the grey eyed ones. And since I am a fan of D/G fics, include in the silver eyed ones. (THEY ARE NOT GREY!) And that is just the eyes, there is the hair too. The brown hair, black hair and ofcourse you have the red hair people as well. And do I need to mention the Blondes?

So when you meet people each class or group of people are famous for a few things. Things which could either be pleasant or unpleasant.

There are shops catered to individual groups of people. Its called marketing strategy, based on assumptions that a certain group of people will visit a particular place and selling things they will probably buy. Is it wrong? I don’t think so. I am only seeking to earn profits after a hard day at work. That is all I am looking forward to.

But after saying all these, let me tell you a place prejudism does not and should never exist. The Hospital. all things can go wrong if you’re being prejudiced there. Would you be prejudiced when you need an organ donation? Will you say you donot want blood from such a such a tribe? If you did, you donot value life. If you did, you are an IDIOT.

So what is it that I want to say about Prejudism?

1) It exists.

2) You can use it if you’re a buisnessman/woman.

3) Though it is silly to be uptight over who you mix with.

It is silly to be uptight over who you mix with. And perhaps working with diseases and in labs trying to find a cure for a disease that has no cure what so ever has thought me that or perhaps because I know what it feels like to not be part of the majority. If you’re going to die, if you’re in a position where you’re life might end anytime soon, do you think I would be sleeping on my hospital bed saying I donot like the colour of a person’s hair, or their skin? When you die, you won’t have your skin with you, you won’t have your hair colour with you, hell, you won’t be able to carry your set of eyes to the next the world.

If you can, can someone please let me know? I would put myself under the knife, I would.

ps: Actually this post is pretty normal, it wasn’t meant to be that way. It was worse when I started typing and I had no clue where I was heading to.

xoxo,

s_malfoy